// Successful Surgery, Green Monkey & Morphine

It is official. I am a dad. My broken-rock “son” was born into this world in the early morning hours of October 5, 2012. It was a routine procedure, choreographed to perfection by my cute-as-a-button (and getting famous) pee doctor. I expected no less from her.

When I finally woke up I felt a bit of pain. My sweet, older nurse gave me morphine. Lots of it. We bonded rather quickly, the the nurse and I (the morphine and I also bonded rather quickly – my silent, soothing friend). When it was injected I felt I was slowly flying, a little higher, a little higher, a little higher, and… cruise. I’d drift off to sleep and have – quite possibly – the most entertaining dreams I’ve had in a year or so. I’d wake up hurting, only to have my nurse, who was now wrapped around my little finger, there at my side, holding a syringe full of my silent friend. This went on for about a day, and I was released into the wild.

My mother, the best on Earth, was with me the whole time. She survived the night in the loudest chair I’ve ever heard in my life. I was high as a fucking kite and it could still wake me up with every move tiny move she made. I’m surprised she made it until the morning. She was happy to get out of the hospital… happier than me, even. She slept well the night of my release.

Some pretty special people visited me right after I “came to” and was put back into my room. I awoke to a big, green, fuzzy monkey and a kiss on my massive forehead. Not a bad way to wake up. Everyone was pleased to know that my penis was okay (the entire Chuck Norris-style extraction was done through my best little guy). The gigantic, spike-riddled rock-baby was too large in its original form to be pulled through my urethra, so it had to be broken up inside my body and removed in manageable “chunks.” Nice. Overall, the “baby” is pretty impressive. It was a little over half an inch long and about a quarter of an inch thick. I’m glad I never actually passed it. His name is Uri. Fitting.

Many people sent me messages and called my phone. I loved each and every call and/or comment. I have a lot of great people in my life and I appreciate each and every one of them. Surgery is not always fun, but sometimes it is needed and often, inevitable. What matters is having people who care about you and want you to come out on the other side. Without them, life wouldn’t be very much fun anyway.

I feel better.

JHS

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// Thank You, Little Lady

Today has been a good day. As you know, I had a few secret gifts to give away recently. Two items went to my best friends; the third to a secret crush I had (I can use the past-tense here, as the secret is no longer a secret). And I’m glad.

Letting loose parts of the secret were my own doing. I kind of nudged her into reading the blog, fully knowing she would eventually come across the entry involving her. She wrote me a message this morning, telling me she enjoyed the post and that I was “great.” This was good news to me. I’m a bit of a worrier at times, and thought I had overdone it a bit. I guess not (this time). Thank goodness.

Things seem to be much easier to deal with once they’re out in the open. I try to get to the point as early as possible these days. I realize it can be intimidating, but life is short. I intend to make the most of it.

I’ll apologize as I go along.

JHS

// The Awkwardness of Secret Keeping

Secrets are something I’m usually good at keeping. Trust is extremely important to me, and to have it damaged, or lost, is a horrible thought. Keeping secrets from close friends can be excruciatingly hard to do. Of course, some things are better left unsaid. Especially if the looming information will hurt or compromise that person in any way. Well, I have a secret and it needs to be kept from two of my closest friends. They’ve gone way beyond what could be asked of a friend on countless occasions. They’re my brothers. Not in blood, but bonded forever. I’d die for them. This particular secret happens to be something good. In a way I’ve let the cat out of the bag, but I’ll wrestle that little fucker back in. A week seems like years.

JHS

// An Aside: The Blog

This blog has only existed for one full day and already my head is in my hands and I am crying. The comments, though few, have already hit home. Honesty was mentioned. If there’s one thing I will try to do is to keep this as honest and raw as possible. This is my life. This site is my way to get my feelings out to the public. I control this, as I do my own life. As an outlet, I think it can only help. Me as well as others. You can rest assured I will keep doing it as long as I can. I hope people will continue to read. It is going to be a bit of an experiment.

JHS